l> Question: Why did the chicken cross the road
Why did the chicken cross the road? Doug Zongker"s chicken paper: VideoComputer Chickens A Chicken Joke Subgoals welcome. Thanks to Flori Bunea, Ginger Hellman, Roberto Rivera, Hermale Rubin, Maggi Vanos and Doug Zongker.
RONALD FISHER: Why does it have to be a chicken? Why not a frog, turkey, or pig? We randomly attempt to a have chicken, frog, turkey and pig cross the road 10 times each. We then compare the expect number of times each pet crossed the road to determine if there"s a distinction in implies. SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he"s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he well-known the must connect in teamwork and also dialogue through all the chickens on the various other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that bit chicken to cross the road. This suffer renders me uniquely qualified to ensure ideal from Day One that eincredibly chicken in this nation gets the opportunity it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn"t about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don"t really treatment why the chicken crossed the road. We simply want to understand if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. Tright here is no middle ground right here. DICK CHENEY: Where"s my gun? COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you have the right to plainly view the satellite photo of the chicken crossing the road. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road via that chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am currently versus it! It was the wrong road to cross, and also I was misled around the chicken"s intentions. I am not for it currently, and will remajor against it. DR. PHIL: The trouble we have below is that this chicken will not realize that he have to first address the trouble on this side of the road prior to it goes after the difficulty on the various other side of the road. What we should execute is assist him realize how stupid he"s acting by not taking on his current problems before including brand-new troubles. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having actually troubles, which is why he desires to cross this road so poor. So instead of having actually the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a component of life, I"m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he deserve to simply drive throughout the road and also not live his life like the remainder of the chickens. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he"s guilty! You have the right to see it in his eyes and the means he walks. MARTHA STEWART: No one referred to as me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had actually a standing order at the Farmer"s Market to market my eggs when the price dropped to a specific level. No bit bird provided me any insider information. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the people crossing roadways together, in tranquility. BILL GATES: I have actually simply released eChicken2010, which will certainly not just cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your essential documents, and also balance your checkbook. Net Explorer is an integral component of eChicken2010. This brand-new platcreate is a lot even more steady and also will certainly never before reboot. AUGUST MOBIUS: To get to the exact same side. ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at remainder tfinish to stay at remainder. Chickens in movement tend to cross the road. WERNER HEISENBERG: We are not certain which side of the road the chicken was on, yet it was relocating exceptionally quick. DARTH VADER: Since it might not stand up to the power of the Dark Side. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I expect, why doesn"t anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking almost everywhere the place anyway?" AL GORE: I will fight for the chickens and also I will not disappoint them. Did I cite that I invented roads? KEN STARR: I intfinish to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United nlinux.orges of America in an initiative to distract law enforcement officials and also the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest possible elected main has actually been trying to cover up. As an outcome, the chicken is simply an additional pawn in the president"s continuous and also elaborate system to obstruct justice and also threaten the dominance of law. For that reason, my staff inoften tends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity gave he coopeprices completely through our investigation. In addition, the chicken will not be allowed to reach the other side of the road until our examination and also any type of Congressional follow-up investigations have actually been completed. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a task from a decent, hardworking Amerihave the right to. DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it via a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, yet why it crossed, I"ve not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a human being wbelow all chickens will be totally free to cross roadways without having their motives dubbed right into question. GRANDPA: In my day, we didn"t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was great enough for us. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitcapability. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: What chicken? CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go wright here no chicken has actually gone before. FOX MULDER: You experienced it cross the road with your very own eyes. How many kind of even more chickens have to cross before you believe it? MACHIAVELLI: The allude is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The finish of crossing the road justifies whatever before motive tright here was. FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual indefense. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roadways throughout background. THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was a lot rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don"t understand any kind of chickens. I have actually never before known any type of chickens. JANOS von NEUMANN: The chicken is spread probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on your side. BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn"t that interesting? In a couple of moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the initially time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a major case of molting, and went on to attain its life long dream of crossing the road. ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have actually reason to believe tright here is a chicken, yet we have not yet been allowed to have actually access to the various other side of the road. DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the display, you have the right to plainly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. ANDRE AMPERE: To keep up with present events. ROBERT BOYLE: She had been under too much push at home. JAMES WATT: It thought it would be a good means to let off heavy steam. THOMAS EDISON: She thought it would certainly be an illuminating experience. JEAN FOUCALT: It didn"t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross. KARL GAUSS: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the various other side. GUSATV HERTZ: Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency. GEORG OHM: Tright here was even more resistance on this side of the road. ERWIN SCHRODINGER: Due to the fact that the wording of the question means the lack of an observer (else the fowl"s impetus might conveniently be deduced), it is evident that the chicken all at once did and did not cross the road.


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In the challenge of this, any speculation regarding the bird"s purpose should be viewed as mere sophisattempt - and also as such is beyond the bounds of this discussion.