My mother thinks I’m repushing my feelings about this. I say to her, “No, Mom, I’m not. I think it’s really neat. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Mom says, “I don’t think you’re being hoswarm with me.”

Then she hands me this book. She tells me she wants me to compose down my feelings in this book, because, she says, I obviously don’t feel I can talk around them with her.

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She wants me to write down my feelings? Okay, I’ll compose down my feelings:

I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S DOING THIS TO ME!

Like everybody doesn’t already think I’m a freak. I’m almost the biggest freak in the whole college. I mean, let’s face it: I’m 5 foot nine, flat-chested, and a freshman. How much even more of a freak could I be?

If world at school find out about this, I’m dead. That’s it. Dead.

Oh, God, if you really do exist, please don’t let them uncover out about this.

There are four million human being in Manhattan, right? That renders around two million of them males. So out of TWO MILLION men, she hregarding go out with Mr. Gianini. She can’t go out through some male I don’t understand. She can’t go out via some male she met at D’Agostinos or wherever before. Oh, no.

She has to go out through my Algebra teacher.

Thanks, Mom. Thanks a totality lot.

Wednesday, September 24, 5th Period

Lilly’s like, “Mr. Gianini’s cool.”

Yeah, ideal. He’s cool if you’re Lilly Moscovitz. He’s cool if you’re good at Algebra, prefer Lilly Moscovitz. He’s not so cool if you’re flunking Algebra, like me.

He’s not so cool if he makes you continue to be after college EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY from 2:30 to 3:30 to exercise the FOIL approach once you can be hanging out via all your friends. He’s not so cool if he calls your mommy in for a parent/teacher conference to talk about just how you’re flunking Algebra, then ASKS HER OUT.

And he’s not so cool if he’s sticking his tongue in your mom’s mouth.

Not that I’ve actually viewed them carry out this. They haven’t even been on their first day yet. And I don’t think my mom would certainly let a man put his tongue in her mouth on the first day.

At least, I hope not.

I experienced Josh Richter stick his tongue in Lana Weinberger’s mouth last week. I had actually this totally close-up check out of it, since they were leaning up versus Josh’s locker, which is appropriate alongside mine. It sort of grossed me out.

Though I can’t say I’d mind if Josh Richter kissed me choose that. The other day Lilly and I were at Bigelows picking up some alpha hydroxy for Lilly’s mother, and I noticed Josh waiting at the checkout respond to. He experienced me and also he actually sort of smiled and also shelp, “Hey.”

He was buying Drakkar Noir, a men’s cologne. I obtained a complimentary sample of it from the salesgirl. Now I deserve to smell Josh whenever before I want to, in the privacy of my own home.

Lilly says Josh’s synapses were more than likely misfiring that day, due to heatstroke or somepoint. She shelp he probably assumed I looked acquainted yet couldn’t place my face without the cement block walls of Albert Einstein High behind me. Why else, she asked, would certainly the many renowned senior in high school say hey to me, Mia Thermopolis, a lowly freshman?

But I recognize it wasn’t heatstroke. The fact is, once he’s amethod from Lana and all his jock friends, Josh is a completely different perchild. The type of perkid who doesn’t treatment if a girl is flat-chested or wears size-ten shoes. The kind of person that have the right to view beyond all that right into the depths of a girl’s heart. I recognize bereason as soon as I looked right into his eyes that day at Bigelows, I saw the deeply sensitive person inside him, struggling to gain out.

Lilly claims I have actually an overactive creative thinking and also a pathological need to design drama in my life. She states the reality that I’m so upset around my mommy and also Mr. G is a classical instance.

“If you’re that upset around it, just tell your mother,” Lilly states. “Tell her you don’t want her going out via him. I don’t understand also you, Mia. You’re constantly going approximately, lying around how you feel. Why don’t you simply assert yourself for a change? Your feelings have actually worth, you know.”

Oh, right. Like I’m going to bum my mom out favor that. She’s so completely happy around this day, it’s enough to make me want to throw up. She goes roughly cooking all the time. I’m not also kidding. She made pasta for the initially time last night in choose months. I had actually already opened the Suzie’s Chinese take-out food selection, and also she claims, “Oh, no cold sesame noodles tonight, honey. I made pasta.”

Pasta! My mommy made pasta!

She even observed my rights as a vegetarian and didn’t put any kind of meatballs in the sauce.

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I don’t understand any of this.

THINGS TO DO

1. Buy cat litter

2. Finish FOIL worksheet for Mr. G

3. Speak telling Lilly everything

4. Go to Pearl Paint: obtain soft lead pencils, spray mount, canvas stretchers (for Mom)

5. World Civ report on Iceland also (5 peras, double space)

6. Soptimal thinking so much about Josh Richter

7. Drop off laundry

8. October rent (make certain Mom has deposited Dad’s check!!!)

9. Be even more assertive

10. Meacertain chest

Thursday, September 25

In Algebra this particular day all I might think around was exactly how Mr. Gianini can put his tongue in my mom’s mouth tomorrow night in the time of their date. I simply sat tright here, staring at him. He asked me a really basic question—I swear, he conserves all the straightforward ones for me, prefer he doesn’t want me to feel left out or something—and also I totally didn’t even hear it. I was choose, “What?”