Three reasons why Jesus is better than the Easter Bunny.1. Jesus died for mankind, Easter bunny dyes a few eggs.2. Jesus loves you, Easter bunny just wants to make you fat.3. Jesus tells the truth and shows us the way, Easter bunny deceives us and hides our eggs.

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A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity.” “Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?” He took his problem to his best friend, Ike. “Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?” “Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi. So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi. “Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?” And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sonsAs they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:“Funny you should ask,” said the Voice. “I, too, sent my Son to Israel . . .

Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it is headed for the water hazard. Jesus closes his eyes and prays. The ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole. The old man"s turn comes and he drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water hazard swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. As the eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, making it drop the fish. As the fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one. Jesus looks at Moses and says, "I really think I"m leaving Dad at home next time!"

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!)As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”?Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven".St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.“Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says.Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed.Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”?Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”?Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!


Ol" Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol" Fred"s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol" Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the eulogy, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol" Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol" Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven"t looked at it, but knowing Fred, I"m sure there"s a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left -- you"re standing on my oxygen tube!"

Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, "Well, I"ve seen a penis." So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I"ve held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. The 4th nun replies, "Well, I need to gargle it before she sits in it."

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A young nun went to inform the Mother Superior that she was pregnant.Mother Superior was furious. She said how did this happen?The young nun said Reverend Mother It was Father O"Malley from the catholic church up the road, and he lifted his cassock and showed me this thing which looked like a baby"s arm holding a plum, and said it was Saint Peter, then he lifted my habit and pointed at my lady thing that looks like a cockerell"s chin, and told me that it was the Gates of Heaven, and that Saint Peter needed to come into the gates of heaven to make me a good Christian. And I believed him..Reverend Mother was furious.She said the lousy rotten bastard!.. He told me it was the Archangel Gabriel"s horn and I have been blowing it every Sunday for 20 years!