Listeners, tright here is someone knocking on my terminal door, which have to intend Carlos? Carlos, is that you? Come in, and welcome house, my sweet Car– No.

You are watching: Be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small and yet it is

No no, no, no, no! No. No.

Steve Carlsberg: Uh, Cecil? I remained in the area and I wanted to soptimal by, and–

Cecil: No, Steeeeve Carlsberg! You perform not get to simply “soptimal by” the studio. You are not a radio expert.

Steve Carlsberg: All right, fair, but…I’ve been driving in circles roughly your station all day listening to the display, and… and it got me thinking.

You understand, John Peters – y– you know, the farmer?

Cecil: Yes, I perform recognize.

Steve Carlsberg: Well, he was like, “Hey, y’all, there’s a Smiling God and also the people is unraveling bereason I remained in 4H club.” And he’s greatly appropriate. But I think that it’s not a Smiling God, yet an enigma underground missile trial and error site.

Cecil: No, listen, the Secret Underground Missile Testing Site is below the Rec Center, Steve!

Steve Carlsberg: Well, it’s like the Facemuch less Old Woguy recently shelp while marketing, she shelp “I’m replacing all of your digital photo albums with classified images of trick missile experimentation sites.”

I think the Facemuch less Old Woman understands what’s really going on, whereas Hiram is prefer, “Well, I can’t really be bothered with lookin’ right into federal government overspending bereason I am literally a five-headed dragon.”

And then, his blue head is like “When you think about the math, there’s no advantage to us!”

And then Gray claims “Thinking around government interference makes me sad.”

And Violet states “We need to be free over all! We have to be totally free and likewise above all other things!”

And then his last head simply keeps roaring and saying, “Your body bends conveniently soft humale protesters!”

But really, I was reasoning about what your boyfrifinish Carlos shelp.

Cecil: Don’t you dare, Steve Carlsberg!

Steve Carlsberg: So, he said, “I’m certain I can speak the light from entering Night Vale. I have actually an easy tool that will protect us!”

Cecil: I am not dating a Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. That’s not– no.

Steve Carlsberg: You sure?

Cecil: I– I’m fairly certain.

Steve Carlsberg: All right. Fair sufficient, but…look, he’s – and also no offense, Cecil, yet – he’s an outsider. He’s not from here. How do we understand he’s not part of the super underground trick army federal government that is testing missiles?

Cecil: Steve Carlsberg! Did you just accuse my boyfriend of being a mystery operative?

Steve Carlsberg: Well, um…yeah!

Cecil: Because that’d be pretty cool, actually!

Steve Carlsberg: No, it wouldn’t! It’s dangerous!

Cecil: That’d be awesome!

Steve Carlsberg: It’s dangerous awesome!

Cecil: But– yet it is– neverthemuch less, it is not true, Steve. Plus, how many times carry out I have to tell you that tright here is nopoint secret around the trick missile testing? It is as American as using drug-laced apple pie to test the impacts of hallucinogens on innocent citizens!

Kevin: I think he brings up a good point, Cecil!

Cecil: You! How did you obtain in here?

Steve Carlsberg: Hey, many thanks interloper! Whoah, cool eyes!

Kevin: Oh, say thanks to you! I wish I can say the same.

Cecil, listen, it’s hard to acquire work done when there’s all this fighting! And it’s tough to smile as soon as there’s no working! And if we aren’t smiling, then what value carry out we have?

Watch me smile!

Cecil: You monster!

Steve Carlsberg: That was really gross! Do it again!

Kevin: Look at exactly how much better we all feel from that! But appropriate now, no one is being productive. There are angels–

Cecil: Actually, there’s not.

Steve Carlsberg: No, of course not! What?

Cecil: There’s– no. Not– nope. Not a point.

Kevin: And a desert army out there battling! For what? For Hooded Figures? For Forbidden Dog Parks? For a Glow Cloud?


Kevin: For the consistent terror of a Secret Police that deserve to invade your house at any time, without so much as a letter from Human Resources?

Cecil: But they are our Hooded Figures. And it is our Glow Cloud!


Cecil: And this is our town! And it is terrible. But it is ours. And we…we are fighting for it!

Kevin: I supplied to feel that means about Desert Bluffs.

So many kind of keys and also conspiracies and also darkness in our days. It all felt so crucial, so permanent!

But then we met the Smiling God! Oh, it was so wonderful! The sun stopped setting! Or– perhaps tbelow wasn’t a sunlight anyeven more. Maybe tbelow was just that other…brighter light. Who knows? I execute recognize that I couldn’t sheight smiling. Namong us could! And our smiles appeared better, fuller, broader.

Soon we had no require for federal government cover-ups, or keys. Everypoint was transparent. Literally. You might watch through every little thing and everyone. The bones, the blood, the scurrying insects inside every human body!

There was so a lot work-related to be done. And such a wonderful company to execute it for! Even the ones that withstood the most at initially shortly found that they loved the Smiling God even more than anyone. Even the most resistant of radio hosts soon uncovered his way to fertile work-related, happy songs, and a wide, gaping smile.

So, let’s carry out this together, Cecil. Believe through me in a Smiling God! The Greater Night Vale and Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area, a town via not one, yet two happy, beneficial voices.

Cecil: Listeners, Kevin has actually simply opened up the studio door, only– it is not the studio door. It is an oak door, and…and light, a blinding light is pouring in, and also every little thing is becoming translucent!

Kevin: Do you watch, friends? The beautiful majesty of living as one under the unrelenting love of a Smiling God?

Steve Carlsberg: Wow, I mean…it’s a really pretty light. You know, that agency picnic of yours certain wasn’t fun, but…I gained even more done in two weeks than in the remainder of my life combined!

Cecil: No! Steve, what are you saying? No!

Steve Carlsberg: Kevin, prior to I action into your weird light, let me ask you about colleges actual quick. Now, my stepdaughter Janice is ten years old, and…the elementary institutions are OK, yet I don’t know if I can afford to sfinish her to personal institution, and also she’s a little bit…

Kevin: Say no even more, Steve Carlsberg! Desert Bluffs schools are top-notch! Young Janice have the right to take college prep courses as beforehand as 12. Our charter colleges even have actually excellent clinical programs, where they have the right to heal her of all her problems.

Steve Carlsberg: I’m sorry, uh, I don’t gain it.

Cecil: Yeah, um…Janice’s uncle right here. What carry out you suppose by “heal her?”

Kevin: She can’t walk, right?

Cecil: Yeah, I mean…

Steve Carlsberg: Oh no, given that birth.

Cecil: She can’t.

Kevin: Well, quite than construct all those crazy ramps and also elevators, we just fix civilization, so that they deserve to come to be much better, and even more productive!

Steve Carlsberg: You are awful, and gross! And I was only being polite about your eyes! They are weird! Now you listen to me!

Cecil: Listeners, Steve Carlsberg has actually just picked up Kevin by his blood-stained lapels.

Kevin: Oooh! Ooh! Oh!

Steve Carlsberg:You will not adjust my house town! You will certainly not adjust my stepbrother! And, Kevin of Desert Bluffs, you will certainly not adjust, or deal with, or execute anypoint at all to my little bit girl!

Cecil: And– and– and Steve– Steve is delivering him to the open up oak door! And– and he simply pushed him with into that blinding, awful light!

Kevin: Oh, smile!

Cecil: And Kevin…is gone.

Steve Carlsberg: I did not choose that man extremely much.

Cecil: Me neither. Um, many thanks, Steve.

Steve Carlsberg: Anypoint for my girl. Try and also tell me there’s somepoint about her requirements fixin’.

Cecil: You know, Steve, uh, we have actually our distinctions. So many differences. More differences than not, yes.

Steve Carlsberg: Yeah, I understand what you’re saying about the distinctions.

Cecil: But, I am glad that you are tright here to take care of Janice, and…she can execute a lot worse.

Steve Carlsberg: Oh, Cecil!

Cecil: Oh, wait, oh!

I…no. Nope, no. Never again. No. Please leave my studio and– and simply soptimal barging in below through your stupid ideas around the world!

Steve Carlsberg: OK! I’ll check out ya roughly, Cecil!

Cecil: Great.

Steve Carlsberg: Oh, hey there! Steve Carlsberg! Aren’t you important-looking? Hoo-hoo hoo-hoo!

Cecil: Dana! Dana! You are– You’re actually earlier in the studio! And…this is not simply a picture or an apparition?

Dana: I am! I’m home! Our time and space lastly, finally fulfill again!

Cecil: Oh, this is a happy, happy day!

Dana: I am so glad to view you also, Cecil! But I likewise came earlier to talk to the totality city.

People of Night Vale, there is a light drowning out our sunlight and our minds. But tbelow are angels, and an army of masked warriors fighting back this damaging menace. Night Vale, continue to be safe! Stay house and execute not gain captured in the dangerous crossfire. The desert army and the angels, they are below to conserve us.

Tamika Flynn: People of night Vale!

Cecil: Oh! Uh, Dana! Uh, I’m sorry, Dana, yet I think that’s Tamika Flynn from her trick broadactors website.

Tamika Flynn: People of Night Vale, hear me!

Dana: Tamika? The Tamika Flynn! Oh, hi, I’m Dana! I have heard so a lot about you! You are an ideas, you are a hero!

Tamika Flynn: Thank you, Dana, yet I am not a hero. Or we all are. Or the word has actually no meaning.

We have to all conserve our town, and ourselves. People of Night Vale, I’m calling you to arms. Tbelow are beings claiming to be angels, and also this international army of giants fighting. Why can’t we?

Cecil: Well, uh– yes, that’s great, but…

Dana: People of Night Vale!

Cecil: Oh.

Dana: Angels are certainly real. They are powerful, and also freshly incredibly rich, and they are challenging to kill, unlike people who die quickly and also unexpectedly all the moment from all sorts of bit causes. Just wait and also let them conserve us.

Cecil: Ahh, I see…

Tamika Flynn: People of Night Vale, carry out not be characterized by exactly how you can die, yet just how you have the right to live! It is like the good writer and orator Booker T. Washington once shelp, “In all things social, we have the right to be as sepaprice as fingers, yet one as the hand in all points necessary to destroying a Smiling God.”

Dana: Stay safe, Night Vale! Stay indoors and also we will certainly broadcast to let you recognize once it’s anywhere.

Tamika Flynn: Get out tright here, Night Vale! Grab anypoint you have the right to and also fight! Grab a slingswarm and a book, say an Amy Bender Brief Story Collection, or Milorad Pavic’s Dictionary of the Khazars. Or, if not a book, grab a rock. Or the throwing stars that come standard in the majority of problems of McSweeney’s. Grab anything you deserve to, and fight!

Do not think in heroes, think in citizens. Be a citizen.

Cecil: Dana, I– I– I know that you have actually planned this well, and also you are exceptionally smart, but…

Dana: Alappropriate, it’s fine.

Cecil: I think Tamika…

Dana: Whatever.

Cecil: …might be right.

Dana: Not a large deal.

Cecil: Um, no, I– I think we have to…

Dana: I just brought two different militaries together, whatever before.

Cecil: …all carry out this together, and also let us not repeat our sin…

Dana: It’s fine.

Cecil: …of inactivity, I mean…ugh.

It– It has grown so bideal, and I cannot check out much. But what I deserve to check out is nearly transparent, and…and I am forgaining. And everything is coming apart, and I can watch the good glowing coils of the cosmos unwinding.

Night Vale, our time…our time is now! Let us raise our fists and also shout! I can…I can virtually hear it. I can virtually hear a crowd shouting, “Take dvery own Strex!”

I deserve to almost hear that crowd, yet I cannot rather hear them. They should raise their hands and shout it louder! They need to shout, “Take dvery own Strex!”

Eexceptionally single among them!

Take! Down! Strex!


Take! Down! Strex!

And they scream it!

Take! Down! Strex!

And then, they soptimal. Not bereason they do not care, but because they are world that are far amethod and not part of this story.

They are component of a different story, a various fiction.

But, realizing this, they all shrug and also sadly murmur to each other, “Take down Strex? Take down Strex? Yeah, take down Strex.”

And then, then they are quiet. And they hope for that rarest element of all. They hope for the ideal.

But in this story, in this fiction, I– I hear the sound of Night Vale fighting ago. And as the light of this Smiling God grows brighter, and as the shouts of this defiant Night Vale flourish louder, and also as I reach for my own personal copy of Kate Chopin’s The Awakening (well, more specifically for the tear gas canisters that came attached to the hardback edition), I take all of you, all of us, that are fighting, all of us, together, every one of us, every one of us, to the weather.

<“Call Off Your Ghost” by Dessa>

Cecil, recorded: Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Cecil Palmer. I’m off doing some vital journalistic work-related. Or probably simply petting Khoshekh. But either means, leave me a message.

Carlos: Cecil, hey. Um, it’s Carlos.

I– I– I hate that I got your voicemail, however listen, I figured it out.

So, we can’t shut the oak doors unless everyone is earlier wright here they belong. And eincredibly moment those doors are open, more of that light gets with into Night Vale. I couldn’t number out why we couldn’t just store the doors closed for great, and also it was really frustrating to have actually a trouble I couldn’t settle. And then I gained sad, because I couldn’t resolve it. But then I did deal with it, and I felt so happy! So those are some – however not all – of the emovements that I had.

Here is what I found. Night Vale is a location that is tough to leave, and also difficult to enter, and also connecting a location as weird as that through a place as weird as this was leading to a lot of…strain ion linear time and also room. So…those native to Night Vale, Dana, John, the angry womale in the Intern shirt, all had to rerevolve house, and the masked army all had actually to come earlier right here, which they did. Just moments ago, the last of them came earlier through the door.

It is so exciting once you make a scientific exploration choose that! I was very happy!

But then, as the last of the masked army members came with the door, it slammed shut and also vaniburned. And I remembered that I am not from Night Vale.

I remembered that, as far as the laws of the universe are concerned, it is not wright here I belengthy.

Cecil, I don’t even remember exactly how I acquired to Night Vale in the first place. I intend, wbelow is Night Vale, even? But I promise I will find a way back. It’ll just take a couple of days, a week max.

I’ll be fine. I’m a scientist.

Cecil? A scientist is normally fine.

Maybe a few weeks, I don’t recognize.

The upside is Dana was ideal. I have actually had actually 97% battery all day, and also decent reception! So we’ll at least gain to talk eextremely night.

Best of luck at house. I love you.

Cecil: Listeners? Night Vale dealt with together! Eexceptionally citizen!

High institution football coach, Nazr al-Mujaheed, in response to the Strex workers ghastly smiles, showed them that thing that he have the right to do through his tongue, which made many of them soptimal smiling and also run screaming ameans.

A balaclava-clad man wearing a mitre, cloak, and also a giant silver star and also speaking with a vocoder – you know, the male that we all believe to be the Sheriff of Night Vale – was dropping heavy bricks dvery own on the intruders from his hover-office in the clouds.

Simone Rigadeau, the transient that lives in the Planet Sciences Building at the Community College, discovered some experimental fish in the lab clocollection, and also put them right into the fuel tanks of the yellow helicopters, which were currently incapacitated by a number of plastic bags that had blown out of the Forbidden Dog Park, and also then, you know, wrapped themselves up in the rotors.

And Old Woman Josie, and her supposed “angel” friends, protected the empty lot where she plans to redevelop Night Vale’s Old Opera Housage.

The Strex attackers were picked up by her winged friends and flown much into the sky, higher than also the Sheriff’s hover-office.

And, of course, a group of adolescents, led by Tamika Flynn, chased out everyone at StrexCorp Headquarters by slingshotting duplicates of Stephen Covey’s ideal offering self-aid book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

And the human being of tiny human being living listed below Lane 5 of the Desert Freduced Bowling Alley and also Arcade Fun Complex…well, they did something. I’m– I’m not terribly certain, however, you know, ‘reason they’re as well tiny to be noticed amid all the action.

Which is to say, Strex has actually retreated!

And the blood-covered office workers are gone! And! And the old oak doors, they are likewise gone. And through them, that penetrating, vicious light, and also we are safely in darkness once aobtain.

A very wealthy-looking and also largely nude being named Erika, that introduced themselves as…you know, an angel, or whatever, then created a examine to purchase StrexCorp. And, while they are not technically for sale, tbelow was no one to decline the market, so – according to American business law – that is a legal acquisition!

It is not yet well-known what the angels will certainly perform via the substantial corporation they currently very own, and also I think – at last – we are ourselves. We are Night Vale as soon as again.

Even below, at the terminal, the office of station management now is just a rock slab spanning a dark cave. A pulsing red glow roughly its edges filling my mind with sad and monstrous visions when I walk previous the door.

So it appears prefer our old management is ago in charge!

And that is…well, I think that’s a great point. I think. I intend, it’s possible that that is, in fact, terrifying news, so…I think…I guess…we won!

Faceless Old Woman: Speaking of winning…

Cecil: Yes! Right! The election! Okay.

Well, it looks choose we didn’t quite get every one of the votes in yet, so we are going to rate things up. Listeners? Listeners, wherever you are listening to this, just follow along.

When I say the name of the candidate you like, raise your hand also.

So, I will certainly say the name, you raise your hand, and also the cameras that are all over in town, watching your eincredibly relocate, will count your vote.

So, raise your hand to vote for Hiram McDaniels.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gray Head: Oooooooh, I assumed there would be even more. Do they not like me?


Hiram McDaniels’ Blue Head: Up!

Cecil: All best. OK. Hands dvery own.

Now, raise your hand for the Facemuch less Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home.

Facemuch less Old Woman: I– I am in your house at this very minute. I am, in a means, your guest. It would be rude, as a hold, if you did not raise your hand for me while I was sitting best tright here, unviewed, next to you.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Now, currently, now…

Faceless Old Woman: It might make me angry. I’ve never before been angry. I wonder what I’m prefer once I’m angry? It will be interesting for us to uncover out together if you carry out not raise your hand also for me.

Cecil: Oh, OK. OK. Great. Hands down.

Now, I am fairly specific that some of you voted for both. And hence, negated yourselves. You’ll know if among your friends did this, because they will soon fade from visibility forever before.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Yup, extremely great.

Cecil: Anymeans, that’s all the votes in yet, of course, namong the votes matter bereason the election is made a decision by the pulses coming from Hidden Gorge. I am now being handed the results by an election main in complete unicreate – a pester medical professional mask, an off-brand also Snuggie, and stilts.

And the next mayor of Night Vale is…

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: I just wanna give thanks to eexceptionally person who voted for me. You’re all winners in my book!

Hiram McDaniels’ Blue Head: And we’ve tape-recorded every one of your names appropriate below in this book.

Facemuch less Old Woman: I simply ate one of your highlighters. I’m sorry. I’m nervous. I’ll replace it through a crow’s feather just as quickly as I am mayor.

Cecil: Oh. Well, it claims below that the next mayor of Night Vale is Dana Cardinal!

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Uhh…heh.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: I–I–I–I–I’m sorry, Cecil, Cecil, I don’t desire to acquire obnoxious around this, however it’s pronounced “Hiram.” That wasn’t even close.

Cecil: I– I recognize, I– I’m sorry, this should be a disappointment to you both, yet I– I’m simply reading what the Gorge is decreeing.

Faceless Old Woman: Your former intern Dana? But…she wasn’t even a candidate!

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Yeah, na– oh.

Facemuch less Old Woman: And she’s so…young and also not ancient!

Cecil: Well, Dana, the intern that came house, it is – favor I told you when – you were constantly essential –


Cecil: You were always somebody, and now age has actually unextended the you that was always…


Cecil: OK. Hiram? Please. I’m– I’m– I’m in the middle of doing something best now.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Sorry ‘bout him.

Cecil: It’s the you that – no, it’s the you that always was, but…I can’t remember what I shelp.

Facemuch less Old Woman: She can’t be mayor! She is a murderer! She eliminated her very own double!

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Well, currently, now, currently, I don’t understand if “murder” need to necessarily disqualify someone from being…

Hiram McDaniels’ Blue Head: Irappropriate. Tright here is a 50% chance that the victim was Dana Original and not Dana Double.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Oh yeah, many thanks, Blue. Forget that various other point I was saying around murder. She has actually no proof that she is not a double of herself.

Cecil: That’s ideal, there’s no proof of…

Faceless Old Woman: Everybody knows that being a twin is just one of the few manifestations of truth that cannot be Night Vale mayor! I do not accept these results. I am proceeding my project, and also I will make certain that Dana does not remain mayor for lengthy.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: And I uncover myself agreeing with the Faceless Old Woguy. We will certainly not remainder till one of us is rightfully mayor.

Hiram McDaniels’ Environment-friendly Head: OR UNTIL NIGHT VALE BURNS TO ASHES AND FUMES!

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Exactly, Green, yes. Exactly that.

Cecil: Now, I really have to object to all of this.

Facemuch less Old Woman: Come, Hiram. You and I have planning to perform.

Hiram McDaniels’ Gold Head: Yeah.

Cecil: Well. Once aobtain, it’s simply you and also me, listeners. The bustle of this day has actually come and gone. And now, tbelow is the quiet night.

The cosmos is unraveling. It still is. We won the day. We won the fight. We won whatever before unit of measurement you care to say that we won. We returned to the dangerous equilibrium we had actually prior to, which we can just assume, or hope, or wish is better. But, of course, we did not sheight the unraveling of the universe. The universe is not a point that is, it is not a thing at all. It is the very activity of its going. It is, in fact, its very own dissolves and also our resides – the whole expectancy of huguy presence going earlier and also ago and also, if we are lucky, forward and also forward – the entire expectancy is invested within this dissolve.

So look at the fleeting stars with fleeting eyes, and also feel just how the earth beneath you offers. It is all a momentary manifeterminal of pwrite-ups, and it is all unraveling ago to particulate silence. The bustle of the huguy day will certainly come and will certainly go. And then there will certainly be night.

But exactly how beautiful these moments within the dissolve! What a short-term perfection we can uncover within this passing world! Everything great ever done! Everything excellent that was done today, and all the excellent civilization doing it, and also earlier and ago and also forward and also forward, every one of that beauty within a universe unraveling.

Be proud of your area in the cosmos. It is little, and yet it is. How unlikely! How fantastic! And stupid. And fantastic. And…

I’m sorry. I– I’m sorry, um, it looks prefer I have actually a voicemail from Carlos. He need to have actually dubbed in the time of the weather. Um, I apologize, listeners, I– I have to examine this, so…remain tuned next for even more of us and even more of me, till that inescapable remote point wbelow I and this and also everything must end.

And as always…goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.

See more: Nick Reineke On Twitter: " Grounded In Reality And Full Of Real World Problems

Today’s proverb: Wonderwall is the only ’90s song visible from area.